SimAnt
Jared is playing SimAnt. Synopsis SimAnt was one of those games that Jared liked playing as a child. If the game had the word Sim in the title, Jared was happy to play it. Jared lists other Sim titles he played, including SimSuspenders. A part of Jared still likes it, and therefore child Jared and a part of current Jared are idiots! Jared explains the basic gameplay and the terrifying opening sequence. Jared looks through the encyclopedia that is in the game. One of the facts says that ants vomit up to give food to each other, and that humans shouldn't do it. Jared realizes that this is why he wasn't invited to parties! "Also, I'm a loser" flashes on the screen. Another fact that ants are very closely related to BEEEESSSS! Jared begins as playing as the queen ant, and begins trying to protect the nest. Jared likes the squeeky sounds and adorable voices the ants have. Jared highly recommends not to choose to play as the breeder ant, and then demonstrates how the ants pick up lady ants. The game made him a queen ant again, and he just hung out at the bottom of the map. The game consists mostly of finding green peas everywhere. Jared watched the guy who owns the house, and finds that he lives a very sad life. Jared reviews the awkward controls, and finds it hard to be precise with his mouse. He goes to save the game, and it takes a long time to save. He puts this save screen at the top corner of the screen, while he continues discussing the game. It's really easy to die, the most disturbing is being eaten by a spider. Jared apologizes to anyone with arachnophobia, and then kills the spider. Jared considers himself an ant god after he commanded his colony to kill a spider that showed up before killing a caterpillar for a double kill! He begins a lame war with the red ants. The AI ants have to kill the queen, and they are pretty stupid. The game save is finally done, at 2 minutes and 29 seconds. Jared's tactics when fighting red ants became 1. Summon dudes 2. Kill Queen Ant 3. Steal babies. Jared finds out that he doesn't have to do anything, and found that if Jared left the game over night to fend for itself, it worked out better than anything Jared ever did. So, Jared let the game play itself. It requires less input than Final Fantasy XIII. Jared throws up in his mouth for saying that. The gameplay eventually slows to a crawl, and the game ends in a stalemate. Jared never could beat the game. The game is fun at first, but it becomes a repetitive chore. The slowdown of gameplay makes the game tedious. The game is automated too well. After the first 10 minutes the game kind of sucks. The encyclopedia suggests players to go and look at some real ants. So, he goes outside with a magnifying glass and bug spray and kills them screaming "DIE!" Trivia * This is the first ProReview that doesn't feature Jared making an "I'm playing " before the opening titles. * This is the first ProReview to use the new opening titles. Category:Videos Category:ProReview